How Can Everyone win?
by Jeff Lulla, President of Fun & Fit Gymnastics
Imagine your child is in a race, a 100 yard dash with 12
other children. She trained very hard for weeks. She finishes the race
in last place, but runs the distance faster than she ever had before.
Did she win or did she lose?
Now imagine your child is in another race the very next
week, a 100 yard dash with 12 other children, but this time she comes
in first place - faster than everyone else. You look at the stop watch
however, and see that she ran much slower than she is capable of. In
fact, she only took first because the kids she ran against were younger,
smaller and less skilled. Did she win or did she lose?
Your answers to these questions are important because they
will help define values to your child.
If after the first race, you say she won because she performed
her personal best, regardless of how the other kids in the race ran,
you are defining winning as her current compared to her own previous
performance. This is not the typical definition of winning. This definition
places the value on effort, self-improvement and skill mastery, which
are all within control of the individual.
But what about the second race? If you tell her "congratulations
on winning" what will she think of what you told her last week when she
ran so much better, but came in last? Should she place value on the gold
medal being placed around her neck...or should she value her performance
above the medal? If you truly place the value on the individual performance
then this is no time for celebration.
Consistently placing importance on personal performance
and effort is not always easy in the competitive culture we live in.
We have to choose what we really want our kids to value. And we must
be clear and consistent when teaching values. When we create the opportunity
for everyone to win this doesn't mean everyone will win. It
means that winning will be possible and achievable for everyone.
We live in a society where tremendous emphasis is placed
on competition. Yet research makes two things very clear:
The Recreational Gymnastics program offered at Bailie's Gymnastics helps
children define winning as "My personal best" as opposed to
the traditional competitive definition of winning which is "be better
than everyone else".
